Book Review and Commentary by Alease Ferguson, Ph.D., LPCC
Grief and Loss
Grief and loss is one of those personal experiences that we all must revisit over and again. With each loss, we grieve differently; and our healing takes a different shape. Hopefully, through the lens of grief we gain an appreciation of life’s blessings and each person’s challenges and walk-through life.
In times of loss, I am always searching for fresh insights and new understandings. A balance of resting, crying, praying, and talking with trusted family and friends is helpful. Sometimes I also read everything from the Bible and other world religion texts, self-help literature, fiction and non-fiction for solace and what can be learned.
Today my family and I are enduring a fresh loss. A few days after our loved one’s death, I pulled down a copy of You Can Heal Your Heart: How to Move from Grief to Peace by Louise Hay & David Kessler from the bookshelf. In a day or so I re-read the whole 216-page text which was first published in 2014 under the Genres of: Self-Help · Spirituality · Psychology · Non-fiction · Relationships · Health. In this read I found comfort, solace and hope for the future.
Our Family’s Story
Just weeks ago, we lost a cherished loved one. Over the course of 10 months, we watched their health steadily decline. Sadly, a terminal diagnosis was rendered shortly after the initial diagnosis. During those months we gave it our best to rally, give love, encouragement, and good care. We also used the medicine of laughter and recounting cherished memories, while taking one day at a time. Naturally in the quiet moments we prayed for a reversal of fortune. Ultimately, we were forced to accept the eventualities of death. Going through it, we took care of each other and our loved one’s physical and spiritual needs, while accepting that God has a plan for us all.
Once the mourners and extended family departed, we knew that we had emotional healing work to do. The real work began with examining our own beliefs about life and death and affirming our own recovery. Now in the aftermath of fresh loss my sons and I are still working to heal our hearts.
Affirming Love and Wholeness
We know that loss of any kind is painful and that healing from grief is a process. Daily we need to prayerfully move forward, and take life one day at a time. In the midst of it all, we are using the affirmations created by Hay and Kessler in 2014 to help us heal our hearts:
- Love guides all my relationships.
- When I bring myself to grief, it is healing.
- I will feel my grief but not wallow in it.
- I honor the love more than the loss.
- I love life, and life loves me; and
- I am healed.
Again, we encourage you to read “You Can Heal Your Heart: How to Move from Grief to Peace” by Louise Hay and David Kessler. It will empower you and support you on your journey through life’s major transitions of breakup, divorce and death.